Uh. Look at the time. Not that late you say? But considering i have to wake up at 4.30am (okay, i don't HAVE TO, i just want to), shouldn't i be getting some rest? Plus a long weekend ahead. Hey, i tried. Turned off the computer. Brushed my teeth. Went to bed. Only problem? Can't sleep. So maybe i thought, by emptying the stuff in my head here i might be able to have a head empty enough to be able to sleep. Or maybe not. Still, better than lying down and feeling miserable, right?
Okay, i'm worried about this whole industrial training thing (we're having it in October, have to apply by end of this month). We had a briefing yesterday. Not really looking forward to it though. Had a couple hours break, so we went to see our lecturer (he's a really nice guy) for some advice and see what he's got to say. Big-name companies was the whole idea. So that in the future it'll look good on our CV. But it would be snowing here for them to accept someone with a 2.3 CGPA, right? (first little-known fact about me, i sense more coming)
And all the facts about companies looking for at least second-upper graduates didn't make me feel any better. Okay, okay, enough on this subject. Anybody with jalan, advice, help or anything, tell me ya.
But, once again, 2.3? A mediocre student? An average-at-best person? How the hell did i get here??
Lost potential. Lost opportunity. Story of my life.
I wasn't like this to start with, though. Not a dumb kid i was. Damn, i trumped primary school easily. Okay, not at THE top, but always somewhere around there (top3 or 4?). Remember the PTS thingy? The one where we could skip standard 4? Yeah, i got it. Why i didn't accept it is anybody's guess. Could have saved a year of my crappy life there. UPSR? It amazes me that kids nowadays go for nonstop tuition to prepare for it. Abso-bloody-lutely unnecessary. *this paragraph might make it seem like i'm boasting, actually i'm just trying to give a picture how deep down i've fallen.
Into secondary and i start becoming the lazy-ass i am today. Lost opportunity #2: With my fantastic UPSR results, why the hell didn't i apply to be transferred to one of those famous schools? Beats me. Dumbfounding. Instead, i chose to spend 5 years of my life at that shithole. Full of gays and whatnot. I'm not being ungrateful, there were a few good teachers there (Bro. Pong, Mrs Tan), and i had great fun doing stupid stuff with my classmates, but for all intents and purposes, i was never going anywhere stuck in there. The standard was so poor that some dude with Ds and Gs (guess who) was still one of the top students. Still, i pulled through and with the grace of God did good my PMR but only reasonably okay with my SPM.
So school leavers should have an idea of where they're gonna go next, right? 9A's? Apply JPA. Loaded? Live the life at some college in Subang. None of the above? At least got cita-cita, kan? Not this one. No idea, no direction, Form 6 saja lah. As if i didn't suffer enough with the science subjects during SPM, i found myself in Fizik class (what the hell again?). But hey, i can't say this was a total regret, as i met many wonderful people here. Lagipun, i managed to get into Malaysia's most famous school (2010). Victoria? St.John? Simpan kulit lah.
Some say STPM is the world's hardest A-level equivalent, and i don't think i did my part, but got an average result (again, by the grace of God, in fact everything is).
So, if i was clueless before, it shouldn't be the case now, innit? WRONG. Nothing's changed, i was (and is) still as immature and indecisive as before. Maybe like a 3-year old thinks. Bio class jadi doktor, Fizik class jadi engineer. The difference now is, many people are asking, "So what you gonna be? What you gonna study?" and i'm too embarassed to say "dunno" so i have to cook up something. "Erm, telecomms engineer? Those Maxis, Digi stuff..." (so now you know i was lying all along, to myself as well)
As they say, tell a lie often enough and you'll eventually believe it. (ooh, i found my answer!)
Sorry, nothing bite-sized about this post. Now that i've got it all out, an hour of sleep perhaps?
